Doubting yourself – always
Working for yourself in a creative job like photography, there are SO MANY days when you doubt yourself.
Am I working enough/too much?
Are my photos good enough?
Why aren’t my photos good enough?
Am I charging enough for my work?
Am I charging too much?
Why am I not working at this/that game/event?
This list, at least on my part, could go on forever.
Perhaps it is just natural when you work for yourself and even if for over 15 years I’ve managed to make a living out of this, still there is the doubt there.
And with Social Media, you keep of course seeing other photographers/creatives work and thinking ‘WOW, man they are good with what they do!!’ – while at the same time looking at your own project and thinking.. ‘Man that sucks!’ Then again, one only has time to look at social media while having a quiet spell and not having any work 🙂 So then you are naturally in a place where you would LIKE to be out there shooting stuff.. but you are at home spending a day going through last months receipts and sending them to the accountant.
Of course thinking that the person who is at the XXX vs YYY game.. they NEVER have to spend any time doing accounting, they are just always shooting at these great events..
Then when you yourself have that busy spell, you have no time to look at social media – it is already enough just to try to make that days edits and drive to the next city for tomorrows photoshoot… maybe then YOU are the person who other look at on social media and think.. ‘man, they get to be at all the great shoots..’
So guess for me at least, it is trying to find the balance there of just being happy and grateful about what you get to do for living – and not always comparing yourself to the rest of the world.
Because on social media, there is ALWAYS someone shooting a sports event, on holiday, on a beach, skiing, eating out, sleeping late, on a road trip, at the airport… but then when you think of it.. all those things come from a combined pool of thousands of people you follow, it is NOT one person at all these places at once.
This post it for my ‘future self’ who will probably read it again ten years, who knows – is that ‘me’ still doing photography?? Is he looking forward to another FIBA basketball World Cup?? Or is he cooking burgers in a beach joint somewhere sunny??
Maybe that ‘me’ from 2033 will come and reply to this in due course – until then – let’s try to enjoy today, whether it is doing a photoshoot, sitting on a beach or just having a day off.
